In this blog, I urge you to be your own friend, before anyone else! We’ve often come across the idea of a good friend or a best friend. What does a friend mean for you? I’m sure, the idea of friendship for all of us comes along the idea of support, love, encouragement, and trust. Isn’t it so? These are the four pillars of any healthy relationship.
A friend in need is a friend indeed! This is the most common saying we’ve come across since our childhood. But the general idea of friendship that we’ve been taught for ages has conditioned our minds to look for a friend in the outer world, outside ourselves. Why haven’t we ever looked inside and asked us whether or not we are our own friends? Do we really love ourselves and treat ourselves as our best friends?
What do I mean by being your own friend, and why is it necessary?
You cannot give what you do not have. It is as simple as that! How do you expect to give love and kindness to others if you’re not kind towards your own self? This starts with having Empathy towards yourself. What I mean with empathy is that you should understand yourself. For that, you need to reflect on who you really are and start treating your own self as you would treat your best friend. Unfortunately, we all have been strictly taught to become perfect in whatever we do. Everyone is expected to always be successful at everything, and we take this as a load and become overburdened. In stressful times, who do you want to share the load with? A friend! Have you ever thought that you can also be that friend for yourself? Every time one fails, self-criticism comes into the picture, and criticism without self-encouragement is a potion for failure. A friend lifts you up from the dark and encourages you to see the light. It is important to be that friend for yourself, first!
How to be your best friend? Let me tell you a few checkpoints for you to make sure that you love yourself first, before anyone else!
- Do you know yourself well enough?
If anyone asks you at this instant, “Who you really are with all your positivity and negativity? What are your likes and dislikes? What are the tasks you’re good at? What are your areas of improvement?” Would you be able to answer without fail? Observe your emotions happy and pain points, observe your highs as well as your lows. Stop Judging yourself or stop being a hard taskmaster and look at yourself from a different perspective. Maybe looking at yourself with the perspective of empathy is a good way to know yourself very well. Friends know how to work upon you because they know very well what you need in different instances. Do you know the same?
- Do you always attend to your needs?
Everyone has needs and wants. Needs change with time but every time a need arises, you need to look at it as a responsibility towards self and work towards fulfilling the same. After a long day at work, you might feel you need to spend some quality time in a serene environment, maybe a walk in a park amidst nature, or a joyful time with your loved ones or maybe some me time. Try to attend to your needs as much as you can. Do not ignore them in the garb of laziness or self-neglect.
- Do you have Me Time?
Do you have fixed times for breaks from your busy lives? Consider keeping aside the gadgets you work upon for the whole day for some time and spending time doing something completely different from your office work. If you have bore a special attraction towards painting, or dancing, or singing in the past, include that activity in your break-time. Do anything that rejuvenates you.
- Do you recharge daily?
Every device requires a recharge, your mind does too. Meditation helps you recharge yourself, gather your thoughts, and introspect in a healthy manner. Consider including regular meditation in your schedule to channelize your energy. Rejuvenating yourself is the best way to be your own best friend!
- Do you keep celebrating your successes?
A good friend makes sure to remind you of your past successes time and again to keep you going! How often do you do that to yourself? Consider maintaining a journal of success, write every tiny success you attain in your daily life in that journal, and revisit it often. A journal of success can be the best gift you give yourself!
Become that friend who’s always there at your side. Good friendship does wonders. Hence, be your friend like no one ever will, and this is how you will begin your journey towards self-transformation!